Panel from a webcomic I made before I knew anything. I still don't know anything, but now I don't care.
31.5.22
29.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit penguin 27
Small model railroads will often grow very large after a model railroader has finished skimming through a catalog of parts and supplies. This occurs in other hobbies as well. There is no known antidote; it's just a fact of nature, like talking caterpillars and catless grins. Reality is a collective agreement, which occasionally breaks down.
26.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 26
"You know, one of the most shocking things about it is to realize how easily we have lost a world that seemed so safe and certain."
--John Wyndham, The Day of the Triffids
Sleep Now, Worry Later
Thou has no figures nor no fantasies
Which busy care draws in the brains of men;
Therefore thou sleep'st so sound.
--Shakespeare
24.5.22
Lazy Summer Days
There are many people walking around today armed with earnest exhortations to get out of bed and go to work. What do they know!
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 25
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He look again, and found it was
a Vegetable-pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'
--Lewis Carroll
23.5.22
22.5.22
Squirrel
....but the cat
intends nothing but cat:
he is cat
from his tail to his chin whiskers:
from his living presumption of mouse
and the darkness, to the gold of his irises.
--Pablo Neruda
21.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 24
From the Manual of Safe Abduction Techniques by Bundalo Kreegah Zzzikkity III, Master Alien Abductor, 79 7/8 Aargh Lane, Bootokkito, XG, the Alien Planet: When attempting to abduct a model railroad from the planet Earth, always make sure that your Vorbiter is set to Nognix, otherwise you run the risk of turning yourself inside out.
20.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 23
Some people think that Elvis Presley went to live among the penguins on the planet Carson City after he exited stage left on Earth. This is not true. But Carson City (the planet, not its namesake on Earth) is famous for its broccoli ice cream, and is well worth a trip.
How to Philosophize
When analyzing important problems in philosophy, such as "Which came first; the pizza or the topping?" or "Why Brussels sprouts?" it's a good idea to adopt the special, secret Philosopher's Pose. Lucy the cat has kindly agreed to demonstrate the pose for your benefit. Once you have mastered this pose, everything will become clear.
19.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 22
Occasionally a fish will attempt to escape predators by evolving into a sheep. This demonstrates a remarkable lack of foresight, because wolves have read Darwin and have developed the ability to determine precisely when a fish will turn into a sheep.
18.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 21
There is no route out of the maze. The maze shifts as you move through it, because it is alive.
--Philip K. Dick
17.5.22
16.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 20
Few people realize how dangerous Brussels sprouts can be. They have no natural enemies, and once they have bitten you, or infected your meal, the only antidote is chocolate--lots and lots of chocolate.
14.5.22
The curse of the Maladroit Penguin 19
The all-purpose kitchen gadget was once considered for use by the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, but it was rejected in favour of a nutcracker.
13.5.22
11.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 18
All-purpose kitchen gadgets not sold in stores are available on shiftypete.con, or on TV, whichever is worse. But wait, there's more: purchase one gadget today and get a free elephant! Hurry while supplies last! Shipping not included.
The .con website will ask for your social security number, your bank accounts, samples of your DNA, and your passport. You can trust this site, so go ahead. After all, we're all in this together.
9.5.22
Owls
Although some owls can rotate their heads through 270 degrees it is a myth that they can turn their heads all the way around.
--birdspot.com.uk
Under the overhanging yews,
The dark owls sit in solemn state,
Like stranger gods; by twos and twos
Their red eyes gleam. They meditate.
--Charles Baudelaire
8.5.22
The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 17
According to the famous chef, Jaimie Oliver, you can make zombie brains with whole-roasted celeriac, mushroom sauce and pear barley. Pouring this concoction into an actual zombie might prove difficult, though.
7.5.22
Happy Mother's Day
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
--Balzac
6.5.22
A Chihuahua in the Lions' Den
Babysitting a chihuahua and making him feel at home among two cat-lions.
5.5.22
New Notebook
Cats have their moods! The colorful kitty is my own addition--ink and watercolor. The chocolate bar is an optional extra.
4.5.22
A Temporary Fur-ball Truce
Peace talks go better with food. A plump gourmet lasts longer than a skinny warrior. Humans obsess over politics, ideology and religion; cats obsess over food. Cats relax and sleep. Humans mentally gnaw themselves to pieces with worry. Cats tell humans what to do. Humans tell each other what to do.
I want to be the cat.
3.5.22
2.5.22
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