Hunger Pangs

 By order of their vet, they have been placed on a reduced diet. This is the result. 

Cats on a reduced diet.


Lazy Sunday

Uh-oh, back to back, belly to belly

At the zombie jamboree, oh....

--Harry Belafonte

Lucy and Kali in a rare moment of togetherness



Sleepy Cat

 Sketched and colored on my iPhone--yet another exercise in frustration. 

Cats can sleep anywhere at any time under any conditions. I have always envied them this talent.

cat sleeping on warrior bot's head


Catcher in the Sky

Nature or Nurture--how do cats learn this? I, personally, have never leaped off a table onto a potted plant to catch a butterfly, so it's not my fault. No butterflies were harmed in the making of this image, by the way.

cat leaping to catch a butterfly



Floral Basket With Botanist

Where have all the flowers gone,

Many cats feasting,

When will it ever end....


Flowers attracting a cat


The Hard Life of an Ancient Assassin

 Some of you have expressed an interest in becoming ancient assassins. My advice to these aspirants is to stay youthful and avoid growing ancient, if possible. This probably means eating a lot of vegetables instead of delicious haggis, but so it goes! 

ancient vulture assassin ordered to kill a dead pharaoh.


Surgery Tomorrow

 Kali goes in for surgery tomorrow. I will start breathing again when I get her back at the end of the day.

Kali goes in for surgery tomorrow


The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 32

Model Railroading appeals to all varieties of humanity, and to cats as well--cats enjoy hiding in miniature tunnels and swatting approaching trains. But model railroading can be dangerously addictive, unlike other hobbies, such as going to the dentist, hurling Brussels sprouts at your enemies, or collecting steel mills.

If your significant other exhibits the following traits, you may need to consider an intervention: 1: modellers are so obsessed that they build tiny model railroads in the glove compartments of their cars so they can operate trains while driving to the nearest railroad. 

2: modellers envision a model railroad on every flat space in their house or apartment. 

3. Modellers will drive hundreds of miles to photograph a dilapidated mine shanty or scrap-metal industry so they can build miniature versions of them for their model empires. 

All aboard!

The addictive power of model railroading


The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 31

One person's ugly red beak might be another person's beacon of hope in a dark and terrible world. So never disparage your beak; learn to appreciate its many-faceted beauty and ignore the mockery of bullies and unstable vegetables. And if your beak punctures your pillow at night, cut it some slack--it's only trying to get comfortable.

Vegetables morphine, and Vikings impressed by the shiny red beak.





It's a gas

Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash....

--Roger Waters

Birds choosing an RV over a traditional nest



The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 30

 The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best.

--Paul Valéry

An inside-out door


Still Life With Fish

 The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron.

--George Will

cat peering at plate of fish

How to Use a Scratchboard

 Lucy does not read manuals.

Scratchboard instructions: Order human to remove wrapping from new scratchboard. Do not eat wrapping. Order human to position scratchboard on carpet with both edges down. Do not allow sibling near new scratchboard. Mount scratchboard longitudinally and embed claws in surface. Scratch surface, not furniture. 

Lucy straddling new scratchboard


The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 29

Anything can happen in life, especially nothing.

--Michel Houellebecq

New model railroad doesn't work.


The Curse of the Maladroit Penguin 28

 Some people think it wasn't an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs; it was Brussels sprouts. A paper supporting this thesis was rejected by the editors of The Great Big Book of Things to Say and Do at Parties

Penguin explaining his fate